Jocasta's Diary

Dearest Diary,

My heart feels as though it is truly breaking within my chest. I feel as though I am withering away.  The state of Thebes is appalling – stillborns, mothers dying, no crops.. how can I survive when the pain in my chest is overflowing. It serves as a reminder to my past, as well; every mother who loses a child reminds me of my own loss of my ill-fated baby.

And oh, how can I dispel the words by old Tiresias and the Prophets? I told Oedipus "so much for prophecy, it's neither here nor there. From this day on, I wouldn't look left or right." (948-949). Although their words pain me (how can my dearest husband be at fault for such a horrid thing), they have always been revered and admired. Laius, rest his soul, trusted Tiresias with his entire being… should I dishonor him in such a way, by not trusting Tiresias as well? His words pain me. I feel however, that I would be doing a disservice to my people and my own conscience if I completely dispel what he is saying, without even considering it.

My brother is another sore spot. Being accused by my own husband of attempted assassination? My dear Creon would never. I must talk sense into Oedipus, and urge him to spare Creon and listen to him, if it’s the last thing I do. I pleaded with him, saying "...honor the solemn oath he swears to heaven. do it for me, for the sake of all your people." (722-724)

What this all boils down to, however, is the fear that this may all be true. My husband’s temper and reluctance to even listen to what others are saying point to something deeper.. maybe he fears it may be true as well. Although i urged him to "free yourself (Oedipus) to free himself of every charge" (789), all the pieces of the puzzle seem to fit… the three roads converging.. the prophecy’s timing…Oedpius might be the downfall of us all. I think he may be.